Feb 21st '08, 10:51pm

I don't wanna go. I wanna run and go- away, far away. Outa here. But I'll miss some people. Why am I writing all this rubblish? Just feel like writing. No reason, no question, no excuse. My heart wants it. There are some things that I am allowed to do even if I don't earn my own living. Sad. I'm frustrated, depressed, sad. But can't help. I live in a crap country. People don't pay you for your efforts. What the fuck! So much effort even goes unnoticed. There are people- crazy crappy-minded people, who like to create chaos for no reason @ all. They hate peace. They should be shot @ sight. But is that an answer? Perhaps not. Amidst all this chaos, I still live, and love. She isn't what I'd call my ideal love- but then, there's no such thing as ideal love, I've figured. She's nice- has a reasonable mind, creative, logical, 'aantel'- I love that last bit. Looks? To me she's an angel. I don't care if you don't agree. Precoccupied with her world, she is. Sometimes I feel left out. But then, each person has a different pattern of behaving. You can't want everyone to be like you! The world would've been a boring place then. I wanted to write a poem. I suck @ writing poems. Still I wanted to write one for her. But dunno why all this crap came out of my pen! I'm sad. I love her. I miss her. Wonder what she's doing now...dinner over, perhaps. Studying, maybe. Thinking about everything that happened today, maybe. Am I in her thoughts? She's all over mine.